Living In Rhythm

Lately, I haven't been able to write anything worth reading. It's true. I can't come up with original ideas or finish the original ideas I have come up with. It's frustrating, and it makes me angry, and then I can't do anything but stare at the screen.

I think I've pinpointed the problem, and it's a little depressing. I haven't felt anything. I've been going through the motions for a while, just letting things happen and going about my work, but I haven't been affected by anything enough for me to feel it. Sure, there's music, that's a given, but nothing has jumped out at me and grabbed me lately. A few good lines here or there, but that's it.

I'm going away this weekend for work, and I'll be away from a computer the entire time. I'm not going to check email or sit in front of empty pages waiting for me to put words on them. I'm hoping the little break will do me some good. Just step back, regroup, breathe, allow myself to create when it comes, rather than trying to force it.

Now, I doubt Saskatoon is the most inspiring place, and I'll be working the entire time, but it'll still be nice to just get out of Vancouver and get a little change of scenery.

Here's hoping something inspires me.

When I first moved to Vancouver, I made a promise to myself that I'd never stop being humbled looking at the mountains, or the ocean, or when I got a view of the city when I drove up the hill and found that little lookout point I first discovered when I moved here.

But I have done that very thing.

I am not nearly as enamored with the beauty of this place as I used to be; as I should be.

I'm a big believer that you find things when you need to find them. You're reminded of things when the universe wants you to be reminded.

So today while looking for a particular photo on my computer, when I came upon a lot of photos I took in that first year of living here, I had to smile to myself.

I wanted to share with you just how beautiful this place is, to remind myself just how lucky I am to live in a place like this.

This is en route to Whistler in August. Yes, that's snow.

The beach near my house.

My favourite winery - Just outside Kelowna

Vancouver

A while ago, I promised to post my 'celebrity playlist', despite the fact that I am far from a celebrity. I just love music.

I didn't anticipate how hard it would really be.

I started out with a huge list of my favourite songs.

And then I rethought it all.

Favourite songs are one thing. Songs that changed my life are very much another.

Now, not all of these songs have changed my life. Some of them just five me that feeling that I talk about so often.

And OK, yeah, some of them are just really good songs that I happen to love.

I'm not going to post all the songs at once, because the list + description would mean that this post would be the longest blog in history (I don't know if that's true, but let's go with it).

I'll post a few songs a day as I narrow down my choices. I sat in a coffee shop yesterday and sipped an Americano and wrote out a few. Felt good to get them down on paper with pen...

Lover, You Should Have Come Over, Jeff Buckley

I start with this because this is hands down, my absolute favourite song of all time. NO song effects me like this song. None. No song trumps this one. This might be - in my opinion - the most perfectly crafted song I've ever heard.
For ages - years, really - I couldn't listen to Grace all the way through without crying. It was from a multitude of things. His voice, his lyrics, his...everything. But most notably, it was just pure sadness over the world being robbed of hearing what else Jeff Buckley was capable of. But also because of the falsetto BGV's and raw, pure emotion and heartbreak in this song. Listen to it at 4:30.
This song changed me. It honestly did. I can't even explain in what ways it did, but the beauty of it is that I don't need to explain it. That change just happened.

Every once in a while, I find that I need to become a hermit. By that, I mean that I want to shut myself off in my house, lay in my bed with the covers pulled up to my chin, a cup of tea on the table next to me, and listen to whatever music I want to at any given moment.

I do some of my best thinking this way. I reflect on whatever it is that has be thinking that I need to hide away, or I read, or I search the internet for silly things, like blogs and new jewelry and clothing I'll never buy.

Or I'll write. For some reason, laying in my bed with a couple candles at my side and Kings of Leon or David Gray or Patty Griffin or John Mayer or...you get the idea...in my ears, I'll come up with things to write that I just need to get onto paper or the computer screen.

The latest one is a tangled web that if I were more confident with my writing, I would consider making it my first novel. It's quite Nicholas Sparks-ian, but I think it's pretty original. I started writing it, and I'm excited about it.

And now comes the hard part.

The hard part is doing justice to the original idea.

Finding the right words to uphold the integrity of the plot. One wrong turn - a poorly placed paragraph - can change the entire outlook of the story, and that's a shame. It's happened to me before, but I actually ended up liking the ending.

This idea, however, might be the most original one I've ever had, and I'm a little afraid that it won't stay that way.

I'll keep you posted...

I'm having a rough week. Not rough as in, things are going wrong. Rough as in, I need a break. I've been admittedly taking on too much, while still trying to have time for myself. I've worked a couple weekends, and have another weekend business trip coming up, and I just want a wee break.

So last night, I tried to fabricate one. I turned off the television, I neglected housework and ignored my phone ringing. I made some tea, and I grabbed my headphones and a book. I listened to a fantastic playlist I made on myTunes called 'Write'. It's a collection of mellow, unobtrusive songs that I tend to put on if I can't find my muse or find myself getting distracted easily.

Now, they say you're not supposed to read other peoples' work if you're trying to write your own, but I bought True Believer, by Nicholas Sparks at the Edmonton Airport, and I am hooked on it. So I started reading.

Apparently, while my playlist is great for writing to, it's not so great for reading to. I found myself hearing lyrics I hadn't ever really stopped to listen to, or ones that I hadn't ever really thought about.

One struck me hard.

You know from past posts that I love Patty Griffin. I've adored her for years.

Her song Every Little Bit is an incredible one. Perhaps what I love most about it, is that it's kind of an anti-love song.

Lots of people (I'd like to think myself, included) can write sweet lyrics. Sweet things that make women swoon and men scoff. Things like, "One mile to every inch of your skin like porcelain." Or, "The city's settled down/I watch you as you sleep/There's a silent celebration for every breath you breathe."

Patty Griffin takes the sweet lyric and flips it around.

"It's funny how a morning turns the love to shame/Disguised and disfigured/And you said I tasted like rain."

Why do I love this so much? It's because she has the ability to capture that emotion so perfectly. That feeling of thinking it's a good idea, and when it's dark, it's all simple. You say things you think you mean, then you wake up and realize it's all different. She takes the words from the night before and makes them an accusation.

I love that. I don't know if I have explained it well enough, but listen to the song and that might speak better than I can.

And now, I'm going to take tomorrow off and sit around my house doing as little as possible. Probably listening to music and trying to finish that book. If you've read it, don't tell me how it ends!

I am a crier. I cry. A lot. At a lot of things. It's therapeutic and wonderful and I love it.

I cry at movies and television. I cry when I'm listening to music, and I cry when I'm reading. It feels good to cry sometimes.

But still, every once in a while, something comes along that makes me cry and catches me off guard.

This weekend, that thing was a McDonald's commercial.

It's no secret to my friends and family that I find something so pure and beautiful about the relationship between a father and a daughter. Perhaps it's because I'm a bit of a daddy's girl myself.

Either way, this commercial had tears falling down my cheeks. 30 seconds, and I was crying.

The fact that hockey is the backbone is just a bonus.

There is little better in the media industry than a clever and well-thought-out ad. I really hope this one wins some awards.

So, yesterday was a Tuesday, which means new music day. Usually, I like to wait until the end of the week so I can read tons of reviews before purchasing albums, but I'm at the point with a few artists, where I just know that I will buy (and like) the albums no matter what kind of reviews they get.

Here's what I bought. I went with the intention of buying three albums. Got a little carried away.

Rascal Flatts - Unstoppable
Missy Higgins - On a Clear Night
Gavin Degraw - Free
Keith Urban - Defying Gravity
Adele - 19
Jordin Sparks - Jordin Sparks

OK, so I'm sure it would surprise a lot of people that I didn't own this Adele record before now. Not gonna lie, I kind of hate myself for not buying it sooner. It's amazing. No doubt. Her voice is incredible, and I absolutely love her lyrics. She's fantastic, and this album is on repeat right now.

Keith Urban can do very little wrong. He's got a formula for his songs, and it works. Great voice, great guy. Adore him.

Rascal Flatts. This is one of those groups that you listen to and ask yourself, usually out loud, 'Why do I love these guys so much!?' I don't know the answer, and it really doesn't matter. Their songs are amazing, and they've got the half-fast country tune niche on lock. No one does a 'These Days' or a 'Holdin' On' like these guys do.

Missy Higgins. Another album that I wish I had sooner, but this one has been on order at my HMV forever, and it finally came in. Missy writes from a place I don't know how to get to, and it would bug me that I can't, but I know that even if I could go there, she'd still kick my ass, musically speaking.

Jordin Sparks. I wrote a blog like, a year ago, about wanting to buy this album, but not sure if I should. It was $10, so I added it to the stack. And I love it. Feel good music. Uplifting. She's freaking 17 and she can sing. The songs might be pure pop, but she does pure pop well. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Gavin. Gavin, to me, can do no wrong. Free feels good. I don't know if that makes sense, but it just feels...light. Great songs, great lyrics, stripped down production. I love everything about this album. "Good luck out there getting where you think you're headed for." Just one of the many lyrics in these nine songs that make me shake my head at his brilliance.