Sometimes we need reminders of basic things. Wow, that sounds pretty cliché, doesn't it? But it's true, and I realized this in a big, stupid way. (Stupid being me. I was stupid.)
A friend of mine gave me a CD of some of her favourite songs. This is always dangerous water to tread, and here's why:
People who are passionate about music see songs as pieces of them. I know I do. I know she does. Songs are not just songs. They connect with you so deeply that calling one your favourite can never do it justice, but you can't generally find the words to explain well enough why it's your favourite.
The second you say you don't like something that someone else loves, it's like a punch in the heart. I've felt this first hand. It's not pleasant, and you scramble and blink fast and try to remember to breathe and find a way to make them hear the song the way you hear it. Sometimes you can. Sometimes you can't. It's like you're defending art that isn't even yours, but is, in a way that's really hard to pinpoint; like it's attached to you, a part of you, and you need to defend it, lest you be hurt or put down in some way.
I hadn't heard of quite a few of the artists (many of them local) on this mix before, and I was excited to listen. And I got caught listening to the songs, but not really listening. (This means I had my headphones on and the music playing while I was at work and trying to put out fires and whatnot; I wasn't focused on the music.)
I should have known better. Further to that, I should have known better than to tell her I loved some, but not all of the songs. Silly me. I never judge quickly. I just don't.
I'll give anything a chance to make me fall in love with it.
Not that I didn't give these songs a chance, but I didn't give them enough of one, clearly.
And it took an email from her asking what I didn't love to make me realize that, "Shit. I don't have an answer for that." I tucked my proverbial tail between my legs, grabbed my headphones, ignored the influx of emails to my work address, and started listening.
I don't dislike any of these songs. I really don't. I like some more than others (completely natural), but they're all great. I'm pretty picky about spoken word, and I didn't give Dan Mangan enough of a chance. Wonderful. The Fugitives are great. And I Am The True Vine...well, I loved that one from first listen.
Anyway, point is, I have to apologize for being a bad music lover and not taking the time to really understand what makes these songs so amazing.
I'm enough of a music nerd (lover) to make a promise to myself to not let this happen again. My record collection is huge and eclectic because I don't close the door on any genre or artist.
Because honestly? You never know when you're going to hear a line like "Some of us fall in love with walking, talking tragedies."
It'd be a shame to miss out for no good reason at all, wouldn't it?
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dan mangan,
the fugitives
You always make me think about art in really interesting ways and I am incredibly glad this blog is back (or hopefully is sort of back).
The thing is I probably wouldn't have questioned your choices if you had thrown something out. I would like to believe that I could figure out (or attempt to figure out) what didn't work for you. Maybe that moment of being personally vulnerable is important, to make me confront my own personal biases (or possibly to reinforce how important context and history and place are to the music that we like) and also to figure out how to navigate a conversation about a piece of art I care too strongly about that you might hate (that goes beyond basic value statements).
This also made me realize that I've probably never had a really honest conversation with someone about a piece of art where our opinions are diametrically opposed (which is a kind of scary thought).
Regardless, thanks for taking the time to listen.
You probably don't even post here anymore but is it possible (if you somehow read this please, please) for you to tell me the name of the song (and the artist) from where you quoted "Some of us fall in love with walking, talking tragedies." I have been looking and looking and cannot find it. And it's bugging me and it's a beautiful sentence and I just really want to know.